Monday, January 2, 2012

Grateful

This is a 5 Year Journal post. The goal is to answer a simple journal prompt each day of the year as a real record of daily life in this moment. 

Randy and Zipper - who has him wrapped around her little paw


January 2: What are you grateful for?

Hands down, the answer is forever Randy. Although I often complain and lament about all I don't have (especially related to fertility) I actually have TONS to be grateful for. But Randy is at the forefront by miles. We've known each other for 18 years now (I don't even have a concept of what 18 years feels like. I still feel 18 years old in a lot of ways.) and in that whole time I don't think he's ever once put himself first or thought of his own needs/wants ahead of mine in any way that really counts. Maybe he'd beg to differ – after all – he knows what thoughts are floating around his mind better than I do. But his actions time and time again have proven a commitment and devotion to me that make me wonder how I ever deserved it. And the answer, I think, is that I don't. I don't think people deserve what they get in life – I think things just happen to you, and sometimes you get lucky. Far, far luckier than you deserve.

For me, a giant portion of that luck has taken the form of a ginger-haired boy with muppety expressions who thinks Liz Lemon is hilarious, who gets too stressed out by horror films to watch them, who learned to knit to help me out, who is genuinely fascinated by online math classes, who wants to live in a farmhouse with chickens but understands we will also need an apartment in the city so that I don't go crazy, who enjoys cooking me dinner, who regularly checks and restocks expired first aid supplies in hour home, who has deserted island survival fantasies, who installed hardwood floors and built a deck because I wanted them, who loves to ski and hike and run, who wants to have a regular art night where we start new projects, who works tirelessly to entertain me with songs and funny voices, and who says his favorite times in life are when we just hang out together.

Yep – I won some sort of lottery here.

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