Whooooo's There?

Ollie the Owl - Sold at Birds of a Feather Fair

Hi Friends! Hopefully there are still some of you out there! I know I've really been slacking with the blog posting lately. There are so many things to focus on right now that I keep forgetting some of them! We are deep in the midst of holiday custom order crafting, plus we have a lot more holiday festivities to attend this year. 

I'm excited by the latter, but also a little overwhelmed. Even though we're somewhat more settled this year from an infertility standpoint (as in we are not in the midst of surgeries and procedures and have moved out of that life phase) we're still not "over" it by any means. Last year we kind of skipped the entire season, keeping our heads down and busying ourselves with craft shows and travel, in an effort to insulate ourselves from the real world. This year we are dipping our toes back in.....cautiously. And we have no idea how we will fare emotionally. On one hand, we want to live life and have fun and enjoy our family and friends. On the other, we're afraid of looking too put together and not receiving the leeway we still need in these situations. The fact is, I'm still adjusting to the new dynamics in my extended family created by my sister becoming a mother. It is difficult for me to see my family members doting on her as a mother figure, even though I love having my nephew around. And Randy's extended family is big and ever expanding - many small children including a newborn, and at least one very pregnant person, for good measure.   While both of our families are supportive and understanding of our situation, we're all still learning. We are now in uncharted territory and there are no social norms for us to fall back on. 

I guess I need to make an open plea for patience from everyone I encounter this season. I may look more put together than last year, but I'm still recovering from something that nearly tore my heart in two, and that is a slow process. I'm going to give myself permission to take breaks from the action when I start to feel a little unglued and I'm going to try and remember the things about me that are worthwhile and good even when they are all covered up by my feelings of inadequacy that stem from my childless status. Hopefully, I will come out on the other side. :)