Scattered: Day 3/31 Day Photo Challenge

My nephew, Daniel turns 1 tomorrow, and we are throwing a big Mickey-themed blow-out! We made these Mickey Oreo Pops as favors. Wrapped and piled onto a tray, they look pretty scattered - and after a day of full-on party sweat-shopping, I feel pretty scattered. Time for BED.

Photo taken with Cannon Rebel T3i

Scarftacular

This is a 5 Year Journal post. The goal is to answer a simple journal prompt each day of the year as a real record of daily life in this moment. 

January 11: What is your favorite accessory?
 
Scarves! I bought my first decorative (as in not cold weather functional) scarf in November and now I’m addicted. I made this one out of a couple strips of old flannel fabric I had in the craft room. You can’t see the frayed edges, because there’s a baby in the way. I guess I’ll let him slide this time. :)

Pals

PS: I wonder what 15-year-old me would think about adult me being this excited about an accessory I’m sure I would have deemed “old lady-ish”. Oh well.

Accomplished

This is a 5 Year Journal post. The goal is to answer a simple journal prompt each day of the year as a real record of daily life in this moment. 

January 7: What is something you recently accomplished?

Christmas photo shoot with my nephew! By no means to I claim to be a professional photographer. But I do love capturing images and trying to think of new (to me) perspectives on the visual world. So I've been having the fun and honor of being this guy's personal photojournalist. Here are a few of the shots we took for the Christmas cards this year.

The wrapper is still on, but he's got the idea!

Too. Much. Christmas.

Tell me you wouldn't kill for those eyelashes..

Deck the Dan!

So Christmas has come and gone and part of me wants to write a moving and comprehensive composition about the emotions involved in our first post-treatment holiday season. But a bigger part of me is tired. And lazy. And content to leave the bulk of those emotions trapped in their little hiding spot - a spot which has become more reliable as a holding cell over the past few months, allowing me many greatly needed days of peace. But a spot, nonetheless, which still has only tenuous control over the monster it contains and must be closely monitored. Wow - those last two sentences took a turn I wasn't expecting. Anyway, back in sanity-land, as I was saying - the bigger part of me - the lazy part is winning out. So I'm going to go for a minimalist approach and try to sum it all up with one photo and a short description:

 This is Daniel and me on Christmas day. And yes - he is wearing a Santa suit, in case you were wondering. It was a blast watching him experience his first Christmas. It was also exhausting watching him experience his first Christmas. Or rather, it was exhausting watching everyone watch him experience his first Christmas - wishing I had gotten to experience it as a parent rather than an aunt. Feeling relegated to a life of being the next best thing. Worried that I don't matter as much as I would if I brought a child to the mix. Ashamed of myself for worrying about it. And the cycle goes on and on.

So to sum up: Christmas was about 80% fun/cozy/happy/relaxing and only about 20% anxiety/longing/aching/less-than-ness. I'd call that a success. 

Sprouts

We spent more time at the hospital today to give the new little sprout a gift that would have been ready as soon as he was if he'd waited until today to arrive, as the nurses had predicted yesterday.  We are excited to have a brand new model for Spotted Elephant items - babies make better models than the Styrofoam balls we've been using.



The hat is made of a bamboo/acrylic blend yarn and is topped with a stem and leaf.

We enjoyed getting to see the family again (including my grandparents), but the weekend has been emotionally exhausting for Randy and me. We're still grieving our losses, and though we're glad to get to know our nephew it doesn't take away the sting of wishing we were the ones in the hospital showing off the tiny being that is the melding of our two souls, or the very real fear that we will never get to.