Reading List

Check out my new read....it was recommended to me by Randy - he's already read it. We're getting excited. :)

Baby Clothes Quilt

Look what I got this week......A bag full of a coworker's son's baby clothes! Why does this make me excited, you may wonder? Because my coworker and friend, Tricia has charged me with turning them into a keepsake quilt for her son. She's quite on top of things - her son is only a year and a half old right now. And eventually she wants me to create keepsakes quilts for her two older (3 and 4 years old) daughters too. I love the idea of preserving memories in a practical, functional way and I love a new crafting challenge. Next step: cut these suckers up!

World Traveler

My passport came! It came! I mailed it a mere 13 days ago and it has already arrived in my mailbox. Jamaica, here I come!

Talkin' about Feelings: Girl Scout Style

This week at Girl Scouts we've been talking about expressing sadness and anger in healthy ways. I always find some misguided humor in these conversations and would be remiss if I didn't share.

"What Makes You Mad?"
         -3rd grader A: "Cheesecake"
         -3rd grader B: "When my little brother pees on my bed."

Those responses are pretty lighthearted and legitimately funny. My favorite response of the day to "What makes you sad?" wasn't supposed to be funny...but I found it so hilarious that I took a picture of it in drawing form. From a 1st grader's feelings journal, I present to you a work of art that I have christened: Ded Puppy.

I don't know what it is about this drawing that just makes me laugh every time I see it. The misspelling of dead? The tongue sticking out of the dead dog? The labeling of the dog as "ded" with the arrow pointing to it just in case the viewer couldn't quite follow the storyline? It helps that the girl who drew it didn't seem too broken up about the situation. I don't know if the humor will translate if you weren't there- or if you are a better person than I am. But I am still laughing at it now as I type this.

Visions of 5ks Danced...

One of my goals for 2012 is to walk a 5k. Geesh - when see it in black and white it looks so pitiful to me. I wish I could say that my goal is to RUN a 5k but at this point, walking one is enough of a challenge. Not only did I let myself get preeeety out of shape over the past few months, I have also been suffering from a nasty case of shin splints that have never bothered me so much as they do now. Its so frustrating to feel like I could push myself WAY harder cardiovascularly but have to stop because my shins are screaming at me. Its gotten to the point where I was worried about my ability to finish a 5k. So Randy and I decided to try a test "run" of the course for the 5k version of The Flying Pig Marathon - Cincinnati's signature running event - before I register for it.

And guess what- I did it! Without too much shin pain! And I got a lot of fun photos along the way and afterwards at our date-night dinner at Senate restaurant in Over the Rhine, which was deeelish. Photos below:

Little Nest

This nest FULL of tiny baby birds is nestled in a wreath on the front door of my parents' house. I squealed like a little girl when my dad showed them to me and couldn't resist hovering long enough to snap a photo - even though I knew my presence there was preventing the mama bird from tending to them. My dad said that he and my mom try not to use the front door these days because every time they do, mama flies away until the coast is clear. While I understand thats how it works.....I guess I don't really understand. Mama says - "ooops! danger is coming - I'm out, babies! fend for yourselves!"? I guess that you can afford to have that kind of laissez faire attitude toward your offspring when you make 5 or 6 at a time.

Meanwhile, our little nest is still loudly, achingly empty. Its been about a year since our last IVF attempt and pregnancy loss. Its amazing how different things feel now and yet how many things are still the same. I am infinitely glad that I am not reliving the sadness and trauma of last April, yet those events still shape and color my world. I have regained a small portion of the confidence and self esteem that infertility robbed from me, but I am not my old self. I don't have to worry about injections and intrusive hormones and devastating phone calls. But I still have an empty bedroom and a gaping hole in my life which separates me from many of my friends and peers and a parent-focused society. I still sometimes take a step back to look at the big picture and can't for the life of me believe this has all really happened to us - that this is real life - that we have to live this reality.

We decided at the close of last year's events to let ourselves heal for a while with no pressure, no expectations, and no foreseeable next steps in our quest for parenthood. We needed to get a few steps outside of the fire before we could think about rebuilding. And now, already, an entire year has passed. Do we feel healed? Ready to move on? I honestly don't know. I expected to feel ready...or not ready...or excited....or just....something. But I still don't feel much of anything besides lost. I desperately want to be a parent but with each day that goes by, the prospect seems more and more far-fetched and fantastic. I often feel old and like I've missed my chance - though logically I understand that this is untrue. But with the artificial milestone of one year passing since the end of our treatments, I feel like its time to pick ourselves up, look to the future, and start living the lives we want to live.

Hitched and Stitched: World Travelers

Wanna know a secret? We here at Hitched and Stitched have been officially hitched for almost TEN years. TEN YEARS! Our marriage is almost a fifth grader. To celebrate, we've decided to go to Jamaica over our anniversary. I've been out of the country once - to Grenada - back in the 90s when you didn't need a passport to travel to such places. So I recently applied for my first ever passport! I hope my stamp for Jamaica will be the first of many over the next few years. I'll probably need to take a quick trip to Canada sometime soon to give it a proper work-out! :)